Can Anybody Hear Me Right Now?

I needed a moment to see if anybody still can see this? It is fathers day and I feel semi down about the holiday. It is Sunday evening and I just got back from a going away party for three friends. I guess I can call them friends as I even felt emotion during the event knowing that we would not be able to hang out anymore. One person leaving tomorrow actually made me very sad. I really been masking how much I cared for this person as a friend as I tried to hold back the tears. She was very cool, caring, talkative, and energetic. Me being somewhat introverted, it really takes a lot to understand someone of her personality to be able to handle. I almost broke down in tears every minute I felt it was close to the event ending. So many emotions of people leaving my life, feeling alone in my emotions, and overwhelmed..... I just wanted someone to let me know that it was okay.

I don't know today was just a rough day. Hell, the weekend was a rough weekend. I really wanted to take advantage of the time and spend time laughing, having fun, and forming moments. It almost feels like an epic fail thought. Why? Well, it is 10:22 p.m. on a Sunday night and I am home along with nothing but an "I am really sorry" as the last text from my husband. While dried up tears still exist from my face. It hurts me deeply that there is no one here to inquire why I am sad, am I okay, and ask me how I feel. I know I am deep in my feelings, but I am really in a bad space right now with so many things going on that I really do not have control over. As someone recently told me, I should start putting myself first. When will I listen?