Praying for Peace

No one ever wants to wake up to negative or bad news. On this day, I woke up hearing the worst bad news. My brother, my best friend had got into a bad car accident. Once the friend started to get into the details about what happened, I could not list anymore. I instantly went into tears and passed the phone to my husband. I felt like a ton of bricks fell on me. As if my conversation with my mom wasn't bad enough a day and half prior, this hurt badly. So many things ran through my mind such as "Oh my God", "Head surgery?", "Will he be okay", "I won't be able to handle if he does not make it", "I wish I could up and leave to where he is", and the list goes on.

My mind works in such a fast paced way. So many things raced through my head as the tears roll down by face. I could only hear things my friend would say to me in my head and play conversations where we had discussions of "what if...". It scares me but also leaves in my head that anything can happy to any one of us at any given time. This is why you always check on loved ones, family, and friends while they are here. You cherish those while the opportunity allows you today. Do not put off things until tomorrow as things are never promised. It saddens me still as the tears roll down as my brother means so much to me. He was there for me when no one else was around as I hid my true self from the world. He supported me and never judged me for the choices made or mistakes I made. He listened and connected me to other people that are like family to me to this day.

I should not speaking like he is not here anymore as I know that he will pull out of this as a full recovery. I just never desire to see anyone hurt or be in pain. I guess the flip side of that is that I wish I never was hurt or in pain nor do I want to see anyone suffer if I can help it. If I had the opportunity to absorb peoples hurt and pain, I would. I guess that is just how big my heart is when it comes to people I care about.

I know that I am in a waiting pattern until my brother comes out of his sleep. I know once he pulls through all this he will be well rested and ready to plan his next trip. Hopefully he can still come see the new home once it is built. If not, I totally get it but I can always facetime or send pictures.

This post even though you may not know it is here.....it is for you bro! Praying for your recovery!