So this past week I had to finally take a stand in taking control in the things I actually can control. Here was what happened.....
I am 26 years old now, but back in '99 my mother decided to fill out a credit card application in my name and forge my signature and send it in. I was away at college at the time. Crazy thing about it is that she got approved, received the card, then told me about it. She used it to pay bills or what not and refused to pay the bill because at the time she did not have the money to pay it card off and I certainly did not have money after just starting college. After, that she had been refusing to pay it and it went to collections under my name. The thing I had been fighting for years was whether to send my mother to jail for fraud or keep bugging her to pay it off cause I could not afford the amount at the time......
Which brings me to this current day and time. The credit card company now is suing me for 10 times the amount because of the interest built up on it. The sent court papers to my old address which I still have not received as of yet, but the situation is crazy. My mothers response to it all..... "So they can't take nothing you don't have" ........"so they sent me some papers in the past too.....they ain't going to do nothing" ....... " I don't have any money to give you right now....I am in the same boat".
So why do some parents do things like this. It is like they love company when they miserable or the fact that since shit is fucked up with them that it is okay for everyone else to be fucked up too. Some people I have talked to feel that I should go to court with it and have them bust out with the application and match the signatures. That way, I am free of this high debt and that my mother does time for fraud and identity theft. However, I am going to handle this one the right way (grittin teeth) and talking to the attorneys and have arranged a way to settle and pay the debt over a period of time to avoid going to court and all. Let's see what happens. Any comments are welcomed on this topic so holla!
I don't know where to begin....
14 years ago
5 comments:
My dude, my dude...you are the biggest man for the way you are going about your situation. I mean, im not shorted in certain ethical values and im usually a good person, but i could not handle it the way you did. i been through some similar situations with my mother...her opening several business accounts in my name while away at college that went negative for non-payment; to her spending a trust fund that was set up for me to receive after high school, that is still hard for me to give...how do they not see the fucked up shit they do, but never take ownership to the consequences. one track minded on what good they can get, and how they can satisfy themselves. it angers me, and so thats why my reaction is one that seems selfish righteous and heartless. but look at things mothers do...i hate when people make exceptions for them because theyre your parents...and? just because you give birth, does not make you necessarily any more mature, ethical, or selfless than you were before. if someone does you wrong once...okay forgiveable. but twice, and then take in the magnitude of the situation...ive thrown in the towel; im tired of being screwed by other people who feel like they can do no wrong, and try to push the crime on someone else...whether they are your family or not, it was wrong. you wouldnt pay the account had it been a stranger! when do they grow up...when do they realize a wrong is a wrong?...and justice is justice. you got yours, now imma get mine. im too old to be making the same mistakes and allowing folk to get over on me, and they are too. only you know whats best for you, but me...aint no way in hell. ive learned my lesson too many times before. good luck, brotha on whatever you do. but remember just because shes your mother doesnt make her any less for accepting ownership for her actions. besides giving life to you, how many times can you count on your fingers that she did right by you, and im not trying to make this a matter of revenge, but you being given wats yours and wats owed to you. god speed, my brotha.
@ so fa real
Wow, I see what your saying and I do understand you completely, but saying if I did decide to do option two and put my mom in jail.....could I live with that. I say that because it would be the easiest thing to wash my hands with this situation and put her in jail for this. I mean I have every right to not just because of this situation, but because I feel my family has done me wrong all the years by jus not acting like a family and always putting me in the worst situations possible. Moreso not being there for me like much of what you described is the issue I have and am dealing with. But two wrongs don't make it right. Yes, the anger makes me want to put her away and this is my chance to. However, is it the right thing? How would I feel afterwards? Could I die knowing that I did that to her and did nothing but add to her problems. My thing is to separate anything I have and own away from her. This is just part of the process of me disconnecting myself from her. It feels like I am suffering cause she is suffering and she doesn't mind me going through such misery as long as she has company.
Trust me...I am tired of being wronged and being taken advantage of, but God will eventually take care of that. I am sure of it.
Im wit you man, and i understand where youre coming from. i thought about this all day, believe it or not, and i really felt unkind for the things i said; even though the circumstances are just as real as i said, youre right, you cant correct a wrong with one. i think i just got so caught up in the moment, because i undertand what youre going through, and from the hell youve been through. its so tough, because we fight with the battle of making and creating honor and integrity, when there was none surrendered unto us. the best thing to do, and we both know, is to let it go, and ease yourself farther from the source of your anguish. hell, you been alright this long without them, what difference does now make. i hate you have to do the time, when it wasnt your crime, but shit happens. goodness shall still, prevail right? ;-)
Okay Im at work rite now cant type too much but ya moms is WRONG. Ill be back aftere work to express my thoughts this is a good post to good to past up commenting
Well you know what I told you to do and I'm glad you're finally doing it. If I find out that you're mother has any access to any of your personal information or that you send her another red cent to help her with ANYTHING hence forward, I swear on the 7+ years that I've known you I will fly to where you are and beat the living shit out of you! I swear for GOD I'll beat you til the white meat show! LoL
~Damnit!
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