Love Under New Management?

This will be short and sweet. I had a great weekend visiting a new place I had never been to before which was Springfield Missouri with one of my homeboys. We went to the mall, did some shopping, out to eat and hit up a bar. In the midst of hanging out with my homeboy, I had someone else on the brain. I started to come to a realization that I am starting to really fall for the person that I am dating without constraints or pressure. Even though we are long distance right now, we have already discussed future plans to mitigate the distance! Also, we have things mapped out through November!

It is a great feeling to be able to miss someone. When you are out and about and to think about "would they like this" or "would they wear this" or "wow they would love this". It puts a smile on my face when I hear from them and the times that they can't be reached, I just wonder if they are okay. The best thing about it all is that it is a great feeling overall.

I feel overwhelmed in a good way by the feelings at times. I guess ultimately love is under a new management for me. For that I am happy........

and feel that.....I can love again.....

Truth Moment

This one will be shorter than most, but over the past couple months I have not felt better. At one point, I felt like I was at my lowest low. Yes wearing the smile on my face constantly hides the hurt and pain I feel BUT lately things have been going so well.

First, I took the step to take control of things that I could control. Having sleeping problems was not an option no more. I did not want to accept sleep apnea and I decided to try to become more stress free. Along with that, I decided to also get more fit for myself. Having but the focus on doing such, I have changed my eating habits and started hitting the gym more. I have dropped a lot of weight and feel more energetic. This is great as I feel better about myself and just an overall good feeling.

I also have developed strong bonds and friendships. At one point, I had become disconnected from a lot of people due to the previous relationships. Since then, I have networked with people and have not been afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone of meeting new people and allowing people to know me for me without feeling I had to be something I was not or become prejudged. It feels good to be able to laugh and talk to people when you need a pick me up. It has made my days go faster better and has become a sense of belonging or family to me.

In addition, I have met someone that has become much more than a friend. It has been a slow process but it appears it has crept up on me. I have gotten to know an individual that actually accepts me for me flaws and all and shows me love that I have not experienced before. It is amazing how this person makes me feel as if I am being truly accepted for me as I am. I am still allowed to be me....video game loving...street clothes wearing....preppy and geeky at times...hip hop and r&b loving....foul mouth...HGTV watching....partially loner being....always travelling....goofy ..and highly sexual self. I truly love this person for allowing me to be me and in turn they have shown me love back. I just pray that it continues to grow into something more as dating has now become a lot more interesting. I have never stepped out there like I have now, but in addition....I have never taken my time as went as slow and cautious as I am now. Thing about it is that there is no pressure. I really don't want to make a mistake or experience a fucked up situation again. Hence, I want to be sure I know this person for them. I know there is a lot of love inside of me waiting to get out and this person will be very lucky to be able to experience true love as I am in hopes of being able to experience it in its most pure form. We are dating now and I am very happy. I never really reflected on it but it has given me the drive as motivation to continue to be better and for that I am thankful for them.

So this is my truth moment. I am now going to lay it down and reflect on where I am now as I really do feel happy! Good night!