Truth Moment

This one will be shorter than most, but over the past couple months I have not felt better. At one point, I felt like I was at my lowest low. Yes wearing the smile on my face constantly hides the hurt and pain I feel BUT lately things have been going so well.

First, I took the step to take control of things that I could control. Having sleeping problems was not an option no more. I did not want to accept sleep apnea and I decided to try to become more stress free. Along with that, I decided to also get more fit for myself. Having but the focus on doing such, I have changed my eating habits and started hitting the gym more. I have dropped a lot of weight and feel more energetic. This is great as I feel better about myself and just an overall good feeling.

I also have developed strong bonds and friendships. At one point, I had become disconnected from a lot of people due to the previous relationships. Since then, I have networked with people and have not been afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone of meeting new people and allowing people to know me for me without feeling I had to be something I was not or become prejudged. It feels good to be able to laugh and talk to people when you need a pick me up. It has made my days go faster better and has become a sense of belonging or family to me.

In addition, I have met someone that has become much more than a friend. It has been a slow process but it appears it has crept up on me. I have gotten to know an individual that actually accepts me for me flaws and all and shows me love that I have not experienced before. It is amazing how this person makes me feel as if I am being truly accepted for me as I am. I am still allowed to be me....video game loving...street clothes wearing....preppy and geeky at times...hip hop and r&b loving....foul mouth...HGTV watching....partially loner being....always travelling....goofy ..and highly sexual self. I truly love this person for allowing me to be me and in turn they have shown me love back. I just pray that it continues to grow into something more as dating has now become a lot more interesting. I have never stepped out there like I have now, but in addition....I have never taken my time as went as slow and cautious as I am now. Thing about it is that there is no pressure. I really don't want to make a mistake or experience a fucked up situation again. Hence, I want to be sure I know this person for them. I know there is a lot of love inside of me waiting to get out and this person will be very lucky to be able to experience true love as I am in hopes of being able to experience it in its most pure form. We are dating now and I am very happy. I never really reflected on it but it has given me the drive as motivation to continue to be better and for that I am thankful for them.

So this is my truth moment. I am now going to lay it down and reflect on where I am now as I really do feel happy! Good night!