So I am deciding whether to go home for Christmas with family or plan a trip elsewhere. So you read this statement and many are probably saying..... "Who wouldn't want to be around family?" Well every family doesn't gather around and put up the Christmas tree and cook a great Christmas dinner. Also, every family doesn't always seem to fully appreciate your presence. Now you could be thinking to yourself, maybe it's cause your family knows about you and resent you. WOW....but nope. It ain't even nothing like that because even though they are in denial and now that I realize that I am grown in the sense that it doesn't matter. That isn't even their issue and the problems that my family have go far back before last year when they found out it goes as far back as to when well...... my Mom "fell off". I guess the divorce hit her hard and we went from a well-off middle class family to just people trying to form a family. Over the course of the next couple blogs I guess I will let the world know me without really knowing who I am. But just as a synopsis..... I will go over the cycle that my mother has taken that worries me from what I observe and what I know. She has went from being happily married....to being divorce....to having a job...to not having a job or working at all..to owning a house...to barely being able to pay for a house.....to being deeply into the church .... to becoming a hypocrite of the church.....to smoking...to allegedly stop smoking....to secretly doing drugs......to selling and pawning things in the house...from picking things up in the store and committing fraud by returning them to get money back without leaving the store....to committing fraud with food stamps and going to jail. It seems like every year has it in for her. What does she need to do to change? Can I even help her? It seems like I can give her all the money in the wall, but it never seem to be enough or ever see a return on the help I give. Everything goes unappreciated. She is depressed and depressing and it seems so contagious because I think about it at times and feel myself getting depressed just to know that she is.
All in all the question remains.....should I go home for the holidays or plan a trip for myself for the New Year?
I don't know where to begin....
14 years ago
2 comments:
Knowing you for about 7 years now, you probably know what I'm going to say...but I'll say it anyway. DON'T GO HOME! You and M should plan an nice holiday dinner there. The kind that you would and have never had when you were at home living with your moms and then maybe plan a small trip for the New Year. Nothing to extravegant. You know I have nothing but disgust for your birth giver but she is still your mother. However, there's only but so much you can do for her or anyone else. It's fine time for you to build your life and be happy but she is a constant weight holding you back. Ugh...I have to go to work!!! LoL.
~Damnit!
I have to agre with Blaq n mild yet again on a post. Yeah don't go home. I see u really love your mom, But the holidays are a time to celebrate not go home to all that stress an drama. Misery loves company. Find an alternate place to be around people that would uplift ur spirits.
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