So I am writing this post as I return to the blogging world to let out my freedom of speech. Right now so many things have happened in since the last post that I am surprised that I am even still sitting here able to type.
Well, yet again since the last time when I thought I had reached a point of where things were turning around. I was let down yet again by a person that shall remain unnamed. However, it hurt me to find out the things I did. How can you claim to say you care and love someone......claim to protect and be there.....yet you are the person that does more damage than anything that could have been imagined.
Yep, yet again, love has played me for the fool that I seem to have trended to become. No, but truthfully I put myself out there for yet another to have the desire of having those feelings completely reciprocated. But I found out that the 2 years were nothing but lies and deceit. To have not only been cheating on, but cheating on from day one. Used to the degree that I was depleted emotionally, financially, and partially mentally. I never seen it coming. I was blinded by what I thought love could provide which was the nurturing comfort, the warm embrace, the honest truth of words, the realness and sincerity that I thought was there was the mask for all the lies, pain that I would see, and the hurt and tears that I would have to face. Even though that chapter has come and gone, not even a truly sincere apology or full truth for the matter has surfaced. Just another emotional scar to add to the rest in my past.
I would have to say that no one prepared me for anything like this. I was never guided to know that people could be so cruel or so mean to you. To be kindhearted in this world is like throwing a nice piece of meat to a pack of wolves. People are ready to take what they can from you not to even care about the long term damage or how something can really affect someone.
I am fine now, but so aware and conscious of my surrounding. I am so guarded by people and things. I just don't think I can deal with another sad love song.
I don't know where to begin....
14 years ago
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