Who Me?

I have had an interesting past couple of weeks. I can say that I have travelled to Houston and back to see my good friends. I took a random trip to Atlanta and back to hang with my friends there as well. I just been on the go. Since having been on the go someone has really shown an interest in me. Let's not say one ....but to keep it real.....I have made myself available to where people like me for me.

Let me repeat. I have begun to open up and allow people to actually like or love me for me. I am still working on opening myself up but it is a great feeling. Accept me for me or keep it moving right? Well there is one person that has shown interest in me and it feels nice to be mutual and not forced. It also feels good to not be pushed pressured for feel the need to have to be in a relationship or have to be directly put a label on something right off the back.

What happened to dating in 2013? What happened to getting to know someone and learning about them before establishing a relationship? What happened to courting and hanging out to work on being in tune with someone. I think an issue I had before was that I felt I had to be with someone or needed to be. Hell at times I felt pressured to be with someone for even if I wasn't ready but I felt that you might lose them. However I learned if it is meant to be it will be. I will never be put in a place where I feel trapped in something that I don't feel right or feel obligated to be in. Nor will I put my friends to the wayside to place a relationship in the forefront of everything. Don't get me wrong whomever I decide to go forward with will be important, but I realize there is still a balance that has to happen. Your true friends will understand and respect your relationship, but also you need to still respect the friendship? Make sense?

Well a mistake of mine is in past relationship, I strayed away from friends. Some I needed to drop because they were not adding value to my life but some I brushed off due to my relationship which I put first but allowed to be the only thing in my life. Then it became a complete dependency that shouldn't have been. I have learned that relationships should enhance your life not remove things from it. A healthy relationship allows you to grow.... "both" of you to grow together. It encompasses trust, honesty, and communication. It also allows you to still be nurtured as that individual but also allows you to share with one another. You shouldn't have to push your friends or family away. I did this and it was horrible. You should still be able to spend time with those love ones either with or without your other half being around in which there should be a trust factor there.

See I feel that transparency is the key. If you keep and open and honest line of communication and make sure you mean what you say and say what  you mean ....half the battle is won. Know what you want, know your worth, and if something doesn't please you speak on it and don't let it fester. Always be respectful and mindful of others opinion even loved ones. Not everything you have to agree on to understand and respect those ideals, ideas, and opinions goes a long way.

My current thought is that I want to really get to know someone before I jump and commit. Meaning being honest to what I feel and what I want and desire from a person. Also, learning what triggers a person various emotions, seeing the good and the bad, and sharing those memorable moments are what begins to count. It is the factor that helps make the decision of "is this situation for me?" "can I handle and do I feel I mesh with this person?"

You have to wonder though when getting to know someone are they truly doing what it takes to keep up with you......better yet keep you engaged? For me, I need to feel engaged in a person. You cannot do the same thing over and over and expect me to remain in tune with you. You have to be creative and find new ways to communicate, new ways to grow, new ways to become in tune, new ways to create memorable moments, which all equals to keeping things fresh and new. Not all times will be happy times or upbeat, but thing should overall keep getting better and better and if it isn't then what is really going on? Has someone became complacent or do the person really understands what drives you? Does the person really knows what brings out the best in you or what makes you happy and can they do this on a consistent basis?

Well I will close this to say that I hope that of all the people I have encountered that this one particular soul understands what it takes to really know me. Also, for me to be accountable that I understand what it takes to really know this individual. I have been tired of investing in someone that is not willing to invest in me, but sometimes you have to take risks and leap. I guess I say all this to say that I am taking it slow, but I know it will pay off in the end because either it will be the result of realizing this person is not the one for me to take as a lesson learned or I will realize this person was meant for me and will continue to grow. There are so many things going on in my life right now, but I will not allow any negativity to come over me anymore if I can help it. I will take control of the situations that I can control. I feel I am in a good place......and to say ....for years I felt invisible. No one really recognized me or knew me for me. So to say back to the world "who me?". Are you really seeing me and noticing me for who I am? I have enclosed myself around great positive friends that I enjoy. Friends from ATL to Houston to the depths of Kentucky to ST Louis and other places that have remained and seen the true me for who I am and love me for me without judgment. I guess the one questions is can Louisiana see me for who I truly am as I see them? Can Louisiana show me love. Can Louisiana keep it as fresh and dynamic? Only time will tell as I love to travel.

Ok I am tired and going to bed. Yes I am still writing and sharing my thoughts. Hope this was helpful to someone and would not mind getting feedback from any other bloggers.