Just real quick. Sometimes I feel so anxious. I wish someone could relate and just let me know that it is just patience that I need to keep moving! I sometimes feel alone in myself because sexually I am yearning for that passion and love making to get me through. No sex is not the main feature of a relationship but it is an aspect or component to show another individual how much you care and adore them. It is a moment to share not on your body but your soul. Emotions come out in ways that are unparalleled to other encounters outside of the bedroom. I so miss that feeling and sometimes feel empty in it, but it is patience that working on. I just feel there is so much I have to offer and just want to openly be able to share myself in that respect. Is that too much? Am I wrong for feeling that? I don't believe so. Can sex overcome love or love overcome sex or is there a balance?
How I long for the passion? The flirtatious vibe that it is about to go down. The moments unexpected to be whisked away by passion and by love in its greatest form. Hopeless romantic? Nah. What do you do when everything else is balanced and one thing is lacking? Sometimes I become so confused because to be in love and to have everything else in place is there always suppose to be that one thing left to work on? But it is patience, patience overcomes sex. Love conquers all. I know it does. It just has too.
Sometimes I watch movies, programs, sitcoms, and see public affection. How should I feel? I wish sometimes I could be that person getting the sexual attention, the flirtatious eyes, the passionate kiss, and grope to follow. Led into the bedroom with candles and soft music playing and not fucked with but made love to in all the ways that can be thought of. The ideal scenario in the most subtle way. I do not feel there is nothing wrong with hoping, wanting, and wishing. But for right now I will be patient.
I don't know where to begin....
14 years ago
2 comments:
Wow, your writing is masterful. I happened to come across a comment you made on my blog SoFaReal, literally almost 5 years ago...and truthfully speaking, it brought me to tears (and do I try hard not to be emotional!).
But how curious it was to see your current post, so recently. I completely understand your sentiments, and patience for anything can be painful; especially, when the yearning feels like it sits under your skin...
I have never believed that sex triumphs over love, in spite of pleasure. Sometimes we can use pleasure, or momentary fulfillment, to trick ourselves into believing so; but feelings are always risky. The truth lies within that little understanding, that you keep trusting & using to change your mind. It's a very simple inkling...but it holds great understanding, which comes from the value of experiences. And I've always been told, that when you know what know, there is nothing anyone can do to take that from you.
Love, or the concept of a romantic love, is a sickening thing; sad to say. But I only feel that way, because like you, I know it's the ONE thing that can make a person WHOLE on earth. When it's RIGHT...I believe that there is a filling and a receiving of something that can only be termed divine. A nurturing becomes available--kind of, like a a mother & child; but different, because as adults our need for love is transformed. But a love that still exist, nonetheless.
I always wonder--whenever I hear Luther Vandross' "Wait for Love--whether he actually ever loved another like he hoped he could; I feel a sadness about that uncertainty. But at end of the song, I always come back to myself. Because like Luther, even before I was heartbroken, devalued, or sadden by the ends of this world...I believed and I dreamed of a pure love, that only i KNEW existed. And even today--when I wish I were celebrating in love instead of fearing its closeness--I can still only muster enough courage to keep travelling the road of patience.
Patience is a passion...I think the longing almost sets us free.
Thanks man....I didn't know you were even still around. I don't even know if you will read this anytime soon. If you do let me know so we can reconnect. I still try to post when I get a chance though. Since then...things have ended but I am on a new journey........I will see where it takes me....
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